Creating a home within yourself
- Leon
- Aug 9, 2020
- 4 min read
In a society like today's, us teens tend to focus on achieving what we should be instead of what we really need to be for ourselves.
BE YOU. Due to the large social media outreach that the age of new technology has brought upon today's adolescents and even tweens, there is more of a focus to strive towards one goal; the single, socially accepted, image of what "perfect" or " success" looks like. Yes, it is great to have an idea of what being successful looks like so one can have something to achieve, but the problem with that is there is no ONE image of what that looks like.
Breaking boundaries
As a society, we must normalize not fitting the norm. These days, looking like the Kardashians is the standard for every female in the U.S, but it doesn't have to be that way. YOU are beautiful regardless of the standard and that is something we must emphasize. If we aspire to all look like one image of optimal beauty then you will always be fighting to reach a goal that possibly isn't the best option for yourself; you will become a prisoner of momentary happiness before there is something else that needs fixing. Instead emphasize those things you don't like about yourself and become okay with them. Book author, Susane Colasanti said,"Your body is yours. It is your home. The keeper of your soul. The resting place of your spirit. No one can ever take that away. " Celebrate what makes you different, who's society to tell you, you aren't perfect?
When I was younger, I hated my nose to the extent where I aspired to change it and I thought that was gonna make me happier. However, as I got older I began to realize that just because the shape of my nose doesn't fit the image of how it "should be" doesn't make it ugly in any way. In fact, I realized it works well on my face. Once you come to terms with your features and how beautifully different they are, then you'll truly feel a sense of long term inner peace and happiness.
To be considered successful, society makes you believe that if you're not a millionaire or someone important by the time you're in your 20s or 30s, then you have failed. This is a fallacious belief, there is no age for success. Never give up on anything you desire, even if you believe that you may be "too old" or " too young" to pursue it now. You are in fact not too old or too young, take steps and construct goals in order to make it happen for yourself, what ever "it" may be. Get up and do it, the only one stopping you is yourself.
"The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence" - Blake Lively
The power is with in
The truth is that you have more power over yourself than you think. We must stop putting ourselves in a mentality where we can't achieve something and start approaching situations by saying " sure, why not? ". Public opinion and the fear of judgment is a massive set back in reaching your deeply desired goals, but at the end of the day the person who your going to have to live with and please for the rest of your life is you, so make yourself happy, do things for yourself."The reality is that most of us, to varying degrees, feel fear about what others think about us." says Hannah rose LCPC, in the psychology today article "Why Do We Constantly Seek the Approval of Others?" Of course, being respectful and mindful towards others is still important, we all live in this world together after all, but you shouldn't be living solely for others' approval and their opinions.
Breaking the standard is reasonably difficult because people tend to strive for the feeling of acceptance and images that are advocated by society are accepted. nevertheless we all experience rejection in some way, you are not alone. “We should assume that everyone is going to experience rejection on a semi-regular basis throughout their life,” Nathan DeWall, a psychologist at the University of Kentucky, says in "Social Acceptance and Rejection: The Sweet and the Bitter" an article by The association of physiological sciences. Learn to love every inch of yourself by achieving short term goals, do things you really admire or that truly make you not just happy now, but will keep you satisfied in the long run."Start asking yourself questions like: What do I value? What keeps me awake at night? How is it that I prefer to spend my time? Start to listen to what you really want for your life, and align your actions with your values, principles, and goals." says Ilene Strauss Cohen PH.D., in a Psychology today article "How to let go of the need for approval". Avoid decisions that, when looking back at them, only made you feel happy in the moment and make you ashamed after.
Practice self love by emphasizing and praising physical things you hate on yourself. After all these years, I still am not satisfied with the size of my forehead, so I'm working on wearing more hair styles that show it off, like ponytails and buns. Starting small is okay, maybe your not ready to publicly emphasize something. I'm not ready to wear these hairstyles in public, so I'm starting at home and looking at myself in the mirror with positive reinforcements in my mind.
"Confidence isn’t walking into a room and thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in and not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.” - unknown
The home
Once you can get yourself in a mentality where you realize you are enough, you are perfect, you are beautifully unique, you can truly love yourself and value yourself for your real worth. see, when your parents say it, the initial thought is, well they have to, but beauty will always be in the eye of the beholder. Someone else's beauty never takes away from your own and it's okay to not be seen as beautiful to somebody. In an art gallery not everyone is inclined to purchase the same painting, but all the paintings in there have beauty in there own way.
Comments